notes from the kitchen

on downtime
I'm feeling a little vapid right now. I'm not a long-form writer (unless I'm writing about body image issues, a.k.a. my weight) and I'm not making anything right now. I haven't MADE anything but the bed and dinner for two weeks. I never thought I could handle downtime before, but it turns out I'm more than fine with it. Lots of present time with the family. I'm very fortunate to not often feel depressed, but I definitely crashed a little after I finished everything I had going on last month and am finally feeling good again. I feel like exercise and working again as an architect are what's next for me (I've said that before). We'll see.

on burlesque
I did just sign up for Bombshell Betty's Showgirl Chorus class. I've taken this class before (see some of our performances within the posts here and here), and it is REALLY fun. I love choreography, and I knew I coudn't stay away from performing for too long. This gets me back onstage with a little less work. Betty does the choreography and helps with the costuming. It starts next Wednesday, and I can't wait!

on plans
We booked five days in Santa Fe as the midway point on our southwestern road trip summer vacation. I used to live just south of Santa Fe (two decades ago!) and David and I have been back so many times for vacation, we decided to go again this summer because it never disappoints. It'll be hot, but we're going to camp and rough it for part, then spend a nice chunk chilling out at the El Rey Inn, a classic old motor lodge not too far from the center of Santa Fe. We stayed there during our last New Mexican adventure. It's only April and now I'm already thinking about packing for this trip! It is really nice to have things like that to look forward to. 

on donuts: the book I'm starting to work on a book proposal and look for an agent for the donut pan book. I have a lot of faith in this as SOME sort of book. Believe it or not I see it as more of a coffee table book, because I think looking at the projects is the fun of it all, but I don't really know what I'm talking about. I took a class at Makeshift Society with Grace Dobush on how to find a publisher. There was so much information there, and as I start to make my way through the process I'll drop some knowledge on you. In the meantime, know any agents who love donuts?

on good advice
Speaking of Makeshift Society, I'm a member at the salon level, which means once a month I get to go down and work in the beautiful space. I've been a member since it opened, seven or eight months ago, and I've only gotten to use it once! My sitter/plans ALWAYS fall through on my MSS days. It's freakish. The one day I did go in December I got my money's worth. I got to talk to Rena Tom about how to start defining myself (or, not) before I had business cards made and went to speak at ALT. She is so awesome.

on good bread
What else. I finally went to The Mill. You can only hear people say "Have you tried the bread? It's AMAZING!" for so long without trying if for yourself. I'm not a huge bread connoisseur, but it is amazing. It's different than any bread I've ever tried before. It's so full. And the space was transporting. I rarely am in a space in California that reminds me of the East Coast, or of East Coast architecture that I thought I'd be designing when I was a young architect, but The Mill nails it. A new happy place.

on blame
I'm feeling lighter of heart this week. I've been learning a lot about the alleviation and clarity of thought that comes from stopping placing blame. When you blame others, you put a lot of stress on yourself putting that bad stuff out there. I've done a lot of blaming in my life. There are a lot of reasons to blame other people, because other people can do shitty things. But if you learn to not take those things so personally, to not carry the actions of the "offending" party yourself, it can really lift you up. There are so many nuances of this idea. I have been feeling so sensitive lately, but with a change of perspective I'm feeling less the victim. I'm currently practicing this in all aspects of my life, and it's working.

on winning
Finally, we recently discovered the beautiful music of Phosphorescent, who is playing at a venue just blocks from our place this weekend. The same venue where Dave Chappelle tickets sold out in a heartbeat this week, three nights in a row. Phosphorescent sold out as well, but I entered to win tickets through The Owl Mag, pleading our case as parents who'd like a night out, and we won! Really cool. David and I usually base our dates around food or burlesque, so it will be nice to go and hear some music together.

I hope you have a great weekend. Thank you as always for reading! xoxo

p.s. Some of the good bread!


  1. Oh man, sounds like a lot of good stuff going on! I gotta take that class of Betty's! Sounds like also a lot of transition and comfort in the day to day. So great to see things going well for you!

    1. How happy would I be if you showed up at class? HOW HAPPY WOULD I BE!!!???!!! Thank you, Dottie! xo

  2. I just took a few minutes to read this lovely musing. I feel good too.

  3. I've been a bit down in the dumps lately too and I'm not sure why. I do have problems but they aren't new problems. Perhaps I've just started to face them a bit more head on?

    I love the idea of a donut pan book and do agree it's more than a coffee table concept as it would be a diy too. That's what I loved about the Design Sponge book, it wasn't just looking at pretty pics of spaces (although I'm not much a diyer I always find info on how something is made ultimately fascinating).

    I've learned to let go a lot the past few years. I had some really shitty stuff happen to me at work. I had a bad year and then became an easy target for everything. I also got blamed for things that were the fault of others. The me five years ago would've offered up timelines and emails to fight that criticism but I surprised myself by deciding to just let it go. It wouldn't have helped the situation, the level of cover your ass and selective memory is too rampant. But I didn't just choose my battle wisely I was able to let it go emotionally as well. Was very bothered for a weekend then by Sunday evening I let it go. I never thought of it as removing blame as you described but that does make sense to me. Just because someone did or said something to me doesn't mean I need to walk around with that blame in my heart.

    1. Hi Tania. I'm sorry that you are feeling poopy, too! Oh, man, yes, when you take blinders off of things and face them head on it's so good for you but so bad for your mood! :)

      I have stayed away from Design Sponge for the same reason I don't do Pinterest....I'm too afraid of being influenced by other people's ideas, but I think I should take a look at that book. Part of what I learned in my publishing class was to seek out books that are like what you think your book will be like, and contact those publishers, etc.

      Well put, about not needing to walk around with that blame in your heart. It's interesting when you start to learn ways to diffuse things in your mind. Our friend Matt who is somewhat of a guru in our lives tells us frequently that "your thoughts are not you, they are just thoughts". Hard to put into practice, but I am trying! xoxoxo


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