Today I am 44 years old. I have a beautiful family, an incredibly supportive husband and a lot of freedom. I am becoming creatively fulfilled in ways I never thought I would be able to. I am incredibly lucky to be living the life I am living right now.
I am getting papel SF off the ground and it's an incredible task with no childcare or workspace or storage space, and what's suffering is my health, along with the general sanity and cleanliness of our home. I can't believe the difference between these photo booth shots and the ones I took last year (photo booth and photo booth II). The last six months have really taken it out of me, and added about five pounds, too.
I have great intentions for this next year of my life. I beat myself up every day for not walking like I used to, not being able to control my eating (I know this is directly proportionate to sleep deprivation, see a very informative talk on sleep and willpower here) and for letting our place get so crazy messy. But what can I do? It's a fact that when people are getting something off the ground they have to go all in. If David acted like it bothered him at all, these paper shreds all over the floor and glue all over the kitchen counter where we eat and rolls of paper EVERYWHERE then it would be over. But he is so patient with all of this and that keeps me going, too. So I know I can't stop living crazy right now. The kids and I are good, we have a rhythm and I make plenty of time for them. David and I are working around the situation for now. So, the health thing is going to have to wait a few more months.
So classic, isn't it? Looking back at photos from a mere six months ago (that I disliked at the time) and wishing I looked like that now. So typical for me. When will I ever get around to changing this cycle? Hopefully before I turn 45. It's like a broken record up in here. xoxoxo
