busy hands

A pink sky over all of San Francisco a few nights ago.

I'm all about two things right now, if you haven't noticed. Eggs and donuts. I'm really into both of them. Compelled to make the piƱata eggs, obsessed with the donut pan project. It feels great to be making things that people like. I sort of thrive on the nice feedback.

I have always known that the act of whatever I am making is equally as important to me as the meaning behind it. That's just the way I'm wired. When I was painting, it wasn't the subject matter that moved me so much as the getting up at 2:00 a.m. almost every single morning and brewing some coffee (back then I did single drip with a coffee filter, a rubber band and an empty glass prayer candle), smoking cigarettes and painting until it was time to shower and go to work. It was the twice-a-month 4:00 a.m. van trips to the S.F. Flower Mart with a friend of a friend to get the freshest delphiniums to draw. Thinking of that solitude in the deep depths of morning (during which I was recovering from a very sorrowful event in my life) still makes my heart palpitate. Over fourteen months of this. Was it the delphiniums? No, it was the ritual and the feeling of applying paint. They physical act of my special technique.

Detail, Delphinium I, 2000.

I've been looking for something for years and years that might feel that way again. Last year I was intensively making burlesque costumes, which was fabulous, but different. I thought I'd eventually pick up a paintbrush again. I've had plenty of opportunities and a little time to dabble, but because I can't go all-in right now it hasn't worked out.

The eggs and donuts have, though. And they are done in a day usually, giving me almost instant gratification. That's what I have time for these days.

But now I'm behind here. Where are all the photos from the rest of our East Coast vacation? Where are the photos from Stella's first day of school and Oliver's third birthday? I find I'm asking myself lately what it is I want to do here. I mostly want to talk about visual things now, about what I'm making, and less about what we're doing. The problem is, this has been our family photo album and scrap book for over a year. Do I abandon this because I've found something to do with my hands? Can I reconcile the two here?

Just something I've been thinking about. Probably working its way into something I haven't even thought of yet.

I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks for listening! xoxo


  1. Tiffany, it was lovely to meet you today, and you truly have a way with words, as well as with visual expression. Whatever you choose to do with your blog, I do hope you keep writing, as you are gifted and I'm quite glad I found your site! xoxo Rhea

    1. Hi Rhea,

      It was really great to meet you today, too. I enjoyed our talk and I think we have a lot in common! Thank you for the supportive words, it means a lot!

      I hope we cross paths again soon. I know where to find you at least one morning a month! I took a quick peek at your blog earlier today but I really want to find time to sit down and dig into it this weekend. That's how I usually do it when there's a lot of quality writing that I want to have time to absorb. Hope to see you soon!


  2. Tiffany.... I remember your delphinium period! I think I hadn't seen you for awhile then I went to your place and you showed me your artwork. I remember being truly amazed at the dedication and time it took to create the beautiful work of art. I also remember it was therapeutic for you. Funny, so much of my past is such a blur because I'm too busy in the present, but I totally SEE that day. Ha ha! un besito!

    1. Rina, you are such a doll! I am so happy we've reconnected online, and I do hope to see you perform one day soon, truly! That makes me feel great that you remember that work, and remember that part of our lives. I totally know what you mean about sometimes only remembering little parts of our lives, because it is such a blur! Thank you for leaving this note! xoxo, Tiffanie


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